Okay, please tell me that we're all allowed to do something stupid every now and then--I was a few days overdue. Tonight I put the trash out and returned to find the metal arm that locks the sliding glass door had come down, locking me out! No keys, no wallet, no cell phone, no jacket! I truly felt like that little ant on "A Bugs Life" when the twig falls between he and the guy in front of him...."I'm LOST!" Not even one scrap of technology on my person! Even if I could find one of those old analog phones tied to a metal box, what number would I call??? I shivered my way over the bridge crossing I-75. I figured if that girl in the movie "Where the Heart Is" could have a baby at the Wal-Mart, certainly I could survive there for a few hours until my roommate came home!
I reached into my pocket and pulled out $24. What could I buy to keep myself amused and fed? The Daisy Red-Ryder BB Gun was out of my range at $34.88. And anyway, the box clearly stated that I would shoot my eye out! All in all, I think I did pretty well--this is what I bought:
6-piece McNugget and Cherry Slushie: $3.36
A jacket: $9.50
Three sharpies: $1.87
Pocket Soduko: $4.95
Total: $19.68
The rest on a gift certificate, please!
It's amazing how much entertainment value the Wal-Mart has! I spent a full hour scanning CD's into a device that played song samples. Then suddenly panic set in...when do they close? What? 24 hours for my loitering pleasure? What a great country!
Well, it's 10:00 and i'm home now with my laptop and my Tivo. My roommate panicked when he came home to my Healthy Choice dinner in the microwave and cell phone ringing in the bedroom. But all is well now, I am warm and safe and have a little bit of an appreciation for how domestication has not served our species well!
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